Lately I feel like all I wanna do is cry just like 24/7. Why? well thats just it, idrek. Everything's going great in my life. I have Cody, i mean he's nice and i should be extatic to finally have a bf that i can call my own. But the thing is, do i love him? heck less than that do i even like him? I am more of the type to be in love with the idea of love so when he asked me to homecoming and then to go out with him i was totally and completely happy because i was attractive to someone, to something. But the thing is, im a hopeless romantic in so many ways. I read those little mushy love stories about the girl and the guy falling in love and living happily ever after, even if there are some rough patches inbetween. But the latest one I was reading was talking about how this girl was in love with this guy but didnt think he loved her back... and he didnt. The thing is, i connect so well to everything she's feeling and experiencing that it makes me want to break down. I dont think he loves me, i dont think he even likes me. I dont think he ever liked me. I think he decided one day that it was time for him to get exclusive and after he was turned down by all those girls (which by the way he has never mentioned) he found little old me waiting there, desperate for a boyfriend, for attention, for someone to call my own and be mine and just want to hold me and talk to me and spend every waking minute with me. I thought it would be like that too. I thought maybe he would be different once in a relationship but he's not. He still doesnt talk, and when he does its never about us or anything that's happening between us (heck he couldn't even say happy 2 month to me in person) and thats the thing. Every "intimate" conversation of our relationship has been through texts. He asks me to homecoming through texts, he asks me out through texts, he says happy anniversary to me THROUGH TEXTS. it just seems to be characterizing our relationship- and that is as a failure. i dont even know if this is how i can truly feel though because whenever i think about the situation im just numb. I think my problem is that when he asked me out to homecoming and i found out about the other girls i told myself to distance my heart from the relationship because its probably going nowhere, and then it would hurt less when it was over... but the problem is that now i can't bring my heart back into it and it seems like all i do is over analyze everything and make things seem worse than they truly are.

im sorry i just really needed to vent about just one of the many things that makes me want to cry lately. you can ignore this is you wish

Have you ever lied to a teacher to get out of a deadline?
yeah and it sort of worked :P

What kind of magazines do you read?
... i dont have time to read anymore :(

What's your occupation?
school, band, soccer. i should be so lucky

What's really creepy?
the way life turns out sometimes.

Who is your celebrity crush?
Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner.... i think there is probably more. OH! Kellan Fucking Lutz. hes sooo hot, i liked him b4 twilight!

What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
band, twilight, the hunger games, sleeping.... um i think thats it.

What are you listening to right now?
Beatles- Hey Jude

What are you most excited for?
the weekend so i can breathe

What websites do you always visit when you go online?
email, myspace, facebook, twilight fan sites, youtube... i think thats it

What was the last thing you bought?
lunch at school today

What was the cutest thing you've seen today?
these comment things from trevor that were about his status change to in a relationship and he was talking to Katie and it was adorable!!

Does the weather affect your mood?
yep

What is your zodiac sign?
cancer... im a crab :P

Do you want to learn another language?
yes any language i can so that i can just go anywhere and be like "OH HAY i know your language." but since i cant get down spanish that wont happen

What's one thing you love about your life right now?
band at times... and sleep when i get it

Do you have any siblings?
yes

What's something you'd like to say to someone right now?
im soo sorry. i miss you and i wish i could make the bad things go away for you but i just cant

Do you have to pee?
not really?

Say something to the person who tagged you:
i would tag others but there is just you on my friend list so HUZZAH!

My legs burn and im all sweaty and im sore and and and.....


I hate soccer so much :'(

"sometimes you gotta grab life by the balls and say "cough", know what i mean?"
Ahhh Brendon Urie I love you even more now XD

http://www.purevolume.com/cobrastarship

new song ^

since u did this i dont think i will repost the directions.... but here is my band










it says my band is Duque de Gor and the album title is And the Truth is Rewarded...... if u cant read that cause i cant

ok so i am watching a bunch of 5awesomegays videos and i am dying!!!!!! I thought I should share with you some of my fave quotes...


1. I just want you, miles and piles of you- the blond one

2. Ohmygod rice tacos, i love rice tacos. Its got the rice in the taco and mmmm I could  just shove those up my butt- i think the stay cute one

3. I love the smell of gasoline too, maybe thats why I'm like this- Michael (i know his name hahah)

4. The word epic is dead. Just stop using it. Reason 10, the cool kids stopped using it, in fact they never did use it- idr who

5. Don't say epic fail, you just sound like an epic douschebag- same person idr (and haha i love this one)


okay thats all for now

oh and could u tell me which one is Corey or Korey or whatever cause Joe seems to not like him/ is always bad mouthing him... just wondering who he is



STAY CUTE!!! lol

My life officially ends until summer at exactly 3:30pm today.... i will miss it oh so much.


GOOOOODD BYE SOCIAL LIFE!!! SEE YOU THIS SUMMER WHEN BAND TAKES OVER!!!!


*sweeps dramatically away off up the stairs to get ready for soccer tryouts that she already made so you can't really call them tryouts*


"HOW I WILL MISS THEE!" she exclaims as her figure disappears around the corner.




okay im done now :( i will really miss my social life though.... oh well i asked for this i guess *sigh*

pffff who really cares Robert Pattinson was there and he was looking fiiiiinnnnnnne in a Doulcci and Cabonna (sooo not how u spell it) suit, therefore no one else was really there it was ALL RPattz.
XD

This looked extremely difficult for my name so i decided to challenge myself...

What is your name:  Kayla
A four letter word: Kite
A boy's name: Kenny
A girl's name: Katie
An occupation: Kola :P
A color:  Kelly Green
Something you wear: Kilt XD
A food: Kiwi
A TV show: Kyle XY
Something found in the bathroom: Kleenex
A place: Kansas
A reason for being late: Killed (good reason)
Something you shout: KA POWWWW!!! (theres some comic book actions for you)
A movie title: Kill Bill
Something you drink: Kool Aid
A musical group:  The Killers
An animal: Kangaroo
A street name: Kadayanallur  Street (In China Town evidently)
A type of car: Kia Sorento
The title of a song: Killer Queen- Queen



if not for google this would've been a fail :P

it makes me lol i love it!!

http://media.photobucket.com/image/twilight/bffkrista001/reflection.gif

XD

i love urban dictionary so i thought that this should be very good to do.

( o__O )</td></tr></tbody> </table>

Favorite color:
red

This describes the condition of the person who has been smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol--they are red, as in red in the face (from the alcohol) AND/OR red in the eyes (from the marijuana).



Birthplace?
Illinois

A midwestern state where you could see a Porshe and a John Deere tractor on the same country road on your way to eat a Pony Shoe (or if you're hungry, a Horse Shoe) with your neighbors who happen to be a farmer, a stock broker, a doctor, and a hippie (i.e., very diverse). Illinoisians are infatuated with the outdoors, as shown by the multitude of state parks throughout the state. Although there sometimes tends to be tension between the Chicagoans and Downstaters, both unite together in their loyalty and pride in Illinois. .


Last Person You Talked To?
Jessica

An extremely common female name.



One Of Your Nicknames?
Hamburger Helper (Don't ask lol)

Pasta you have to mix the meat in with. Normally, food for people on Welfare.

(a lot of the things i saw were pretty gross and im not putting it on here so i gave you the safest version


yeah that went really well until my nickname thing came up.... that was pretty disturbing.... just ewwww.</div>

ok sorry if this totally sucks....
( Venting )
again i'm sorry if it sucks

OH NOZZ THE ALIENZZ THEY BES INVADING THE U.S!!! RUN FOR UR LIVEZZZZ!!!!!




(Just cause it needs to be said and I don't know why but it needs to be said(wow I can really repeat))


BOSS! BOSS! ZE PLANE ZE PLANE ( or de plane if you prefer... either way)



THEYZ HAZZZ GOTTEN ME OH NOZZ SAVE YOUSELF!!!!




ha wow im such a dork... but right now i have managed to be hyper and tired at the same exact time... thats a talent

OMG sooo like im reading your fan fic so this is why this is amusing and i am not rubbing this in your face just so ya know....



We're getting Pizza Hut for dinner!!!! I win :P

Just for you, this is what RPattz is saying, i had to look it up....


I should never think
What's in your heart
What's in our home
So I won't

You'll learn to hate me
But still call me baby
Oh love
So call me by my name

And save your soul
Save your soul
Before your to far gone
Before nothing can be done

I'll try to decide when
She'll lie in the end ?
I ain't got no fight in me
In this whole damn world
Telling you to hold off
She said hold on
It's the one thing that I've known

Once I put my coat on
And how I know its all wrong
She standing outside holding me
Saying oh please
I'm in love
I'm in love

Girl save your soul
Go on save your soul
Before it's to far gone
And before nothing can be done

Cause without me
You got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on

hahahahaaaaaahahahahah omfg ha

okay so since homecoming is coming up and u have a date I = confused. I want to go but think i will feel out of place without a date myself. I highly doubt that i will be asked to homecoming cause guys dont see me that way which is really frustrating! I just dont know if i want to go with a friend and try to have fun because i know when i get there i will becoming epicly upset because of my boy issues and will go to a corner and try not to think for hours. so idk what to do. :(